Bethlehem Family Camp Meeting has always been a big part of my life. I’ve been going since I was born and always look forward to it every year. When I was younger I would count down the days until camp all year long. It’s a time of relaxation, drawing closer to the Lord, and enjoying time with friends. I’ve always felt a sense of ownership in the camp. My great grandparents gave the land for the camp and my family on my mom’s side makes up a big part of the camp meeting attendance. I always feel closest to the Lord when I’m at camp meeting, and the feeling I feel when I first step onto the campground year after year is a feeling I cannot explain. But year after year, things change. I grow older, friends come and go, and the older I get, the more I realize that things will never be the same. That realization gives me a deep sadness that is unexplainable. It’s more than sadness though; it’s as if I’ve lost a good friend forever. I think back on the memories and I long to relive those days; the days when life was much simpler. This year my family and I went to Bethlehem Camp for just one night. I wanted to go to camp, but I hate how camp reminds me of change and how things will continue to change. As much as I wanted to enjoy camp this year, I had to fight off the feeling that something was missing. I have the relentless longing to go back to the days in the Sonseekers and youth program. It’s ironic how back then I couldn’t wait to grow up; Now that I’m older, I want to go back. I guess now I realize that my problems back then are nothing compared to problems when you grow older, and become an adult. Maybe it isn’t change that I don’t like, but the fact that things in my life have not turned out exactly how I’d imagined they would. The changes are not what I expected them to be. I’ve come to a point in my life where I don’t know what to expect the future to be like…and honestly, it scares me. I know if I trust in the Lord, He will guide me every step of the way. But not knowing what to expect when moving forward is kind of nerve-wracking. With everything and everyone changing around me and everyone going in different directions, it’s easy to get confused and discouraged. I know that I should not spend so much time and energy, looking back, but it’s just so hard for me to accept change and move on. I’ve always had a problem dealing with change. Even when I was younger and couldn’t wait to grow up, I still had an attachment to the past. I remember when I turned eight years old, I told my dad that I was just going to stay eight forever. I thought eight was a good age and I didn’t really want to grow up. I remember when the first new addition to our church was being built. I was probably ten or eleven years old. They had to change part of the old portion of the church to build the new addition and I didn’t like it one bit! I remember talking about it with my choir director, Mrs. Diane, who I looked up to very much. She told me that she was sad that the church wouldn’t be the same, but the change was necessary for our church to grow and that was good because more people would come to know the Lord. It wasn’t too long after the new addition that Mrs. Diane and her husband, Byron, moved away and that was even harder for me to deal with. The summer before my senior year of high school, my youth pastor at my church was replaced. I was extremely close to him and this change came without any warning. To this day, it’s still hard for me to go to church without thinking of my days in youth with him and my close friends, who mostly have all moved away. So, I would definitely say I have an issue with change. Sometimes I worry about how I’m going to deal with the not-so-pleasant changes of growing old. I know that’s far down the road, but I have bad feeling that I won’t handle it well. Change is an inevitable occurrence in life, and I’ve got to learn to deal with it. Ecclesiastes 7:10 says, “Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?’ For it is not wise to ask such questions.” God does not intend for us to live in the past or long for it. He has plans for our future and I need to learn to look forward to what He has in store for my future as I daily walk with Him. There is one thing I know for sure will never change. In Hebrews 13:8 it says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today, and forever.” Jesus is never changing. He is always the same and will always be the same. How cool is that? I serve a Savior that will never change! When I get depressed or sad about everything and everyone changing around me, all I have to do is go to my Savior, and He will be there. Just like He always has been and always will be. And when I go to places where Jesus’ presence abides, like Bethlehem Camp and my church, I need to remember that the reason I go to these places is to worship my God and to learn more about Him. And He hasn’t changed one bit! I shouldn’t be sad, but rejoice in the fact that my Savior is constant. Psalm 102:27 says, “But you remain the same, and your years will never end.” What an amazing truth! My God isn’t going anywhere and never, ever will!
So, I’m going to try and focus on the future and what the Lord has in store for me. I have missed out on many things already because I let my emotions control my thoughts and actions. I’m going to give the Holy Spirit a chance to lead me before my sentimentality gets the best of me! My happiness should not depend on the constancy of the people or places in my life. God’s will for me (and every Christian!) is to follow after Him. And if that’s what I’m doing, I will find contentment and happiness. True happiness.
