it still hurts

sometimes i feel like noone really understands me. i feel like im always holding in my real feelings. it's like i try so hard to appear strong in front of everyone else and after a while, when it all builds up, i just explode (when im alone of course). i just don't want to seem weak or be that "woe is me" type of person. i think people forget that some hurt and pain takes longer to heal than others. and some doesn't heal at all. I just get mad when my friends assume that I'm O.K. and don't bother asking how I'm really doing. I know they don't mean to overlook my feelings, but I'm not the type to just talk about my problems without being asked. sometimes even then i just say "i'm fine" because it's easier to pretend i'm fine. but then when someone else talks about their problems, i just want to say, "well that's nothing compared to what i go through!" i guess everybody wants some sympathy sometime....i just wish that i didn't have to complain about my problems to get it!